Steps of Faith

I’m Diamond Deacon, mother to Kyle and Bailey. I’ve lived in Crawfordsville all of my life. I’ve attended Calvary Chapel for over 11 years now. It doesn’t seem possible! My childhood was simple and filled with good memories. We didn’t attend church for most of my childhood and the few years that I did attend church, I was taught to fear God as well as some other beliefs that I now know were false teachings. As you will read, my salvation day is when I really started living. I enjoy participating in Bible studies and fellowship with my sisters in Christ.
Currently I teach kindergarten at Hose Elementary School. Kyle is 25 and lives in Lafayette. Bailey is a sophomore at CHS. My children are the joys of my life and I thank God for them continually. In my spare time, I am the carpool mom as I am crazy enough to love being around the teens in my daughter’s life. I’m enjoying this season of my life as I open myself to new experiences, new friends, and new hobbies.

April 18, 1999 – the first day of the rest of my life.

Pastor Dave was teaching in Malachi and God grabbed my heart and I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. My life was in the pit and I finally looked up. My husband and I were planning to divorce and after receiving my salvation, I went home and asked him to reconsider. The plans were put on hold and my walk with the Lord began. Life sailed along and while things weren’t great, I was happy with Jesus. I kept my focus on Him and some changes started happening.
Our jobs were very consuming and they took quite a toll on our family. I had promised Mark that I would continue working after Bailey was born. After 9/11, I spent considerable time re-evaluating my life. I had a restlessness that I didn’t understand. A year later a situation developed in my job that required me to disregard my moral values. After that particularly ugly day, I was crying out to my Lord that I could no longer work there and I distinctly heard the words, “Why don’t you trust Mark?” Our marriage was still rocky and I knew I couldn’t quit as he had always wanted me to work. After more prayer, I took a step of faith and went home and bared my soul to Mark about the job, my desire to be a better wife and mother, and the toll that disregarding my values would take on me personally. Much to my surprise, Mark said that he trusted me and if quitting was the only answer, he agreed. I have never felt as vulnerable as when I chose to follow God’s leading at that time.

Our home environment changed dramatically at this time. My marriage started to improve which was the answer to many prayers. I was closer to my children, although my son (who was a high school senior) was not so happy that his mother could keep up with his whereabouts now:) For the next year, I thought about what I should do in life. I tried different jobs to see what I would like. I also volunteered at Bailey’s school. Eventually, I began working in the school as a playground supervisor. This led to a job as a teacher’s aide. Then the first seeds were planted as I was asked why I didn’t go back to school to become a teacher. At first I just laughed this off. I was 39 years old and was not going to a campus everyday to be with those teeny boppers! I’d be paying my student loans with my social security check! God and I had several arguments over the next year as this idea just did not make sense to me. I remember crying out to Him and saying I would only go to college if I could do it from home as I still needed to work and would not go to campus for classes. Lo’ and behold, someone told me about the WED (Woods External Degree) program at St. Mary of the Woods. I literally could do all of my work from home and I only needed to go to campus at the beginning of each semester. The best news was that St. Mary’s was recognized as an excellent school for teacher candidates so God ended any arguments that I may try to get out of this step of faith.

Age 40 and beginning college, there were times when I really wondered what God was thinking and this was one of them. I had no idea how I would accomplish college on top of everything else in my life. It was during this journey that Satan really began his attack. My husband wasn’t walking with the Lord during this time and our marriage was rocky again. I find it intriguing that the same verses that we are studying now were the verses that I kept in my mind during these times. I knew I had to finish this race and I had to continually remind myself of Eph. 6:12:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against powers, against rulers of darkness of this age.

It wasn’t Mark that I was battling, but instead my marriage was filled with spiritual warfare. I was clinging to Jesus during these times while Mark was walking further and further away. It was frightening to watch as Satan shot arrow after arrow at Mark until ultimately, he chose to end our marriage. I still had one year of college left and one semester of this year would include student teaching. I would have to quit my job and totally rely on God for everything. I needed God to help the kids and I through this divorce. I needed God to help me finish school. I needed God to help provide financial resources during this time. I needed God’s strength as I was empty, just plain empty. During this time I was walking in faith every step of my journey. I was clinging tightly to His promise to me in Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future.

I love taking the time to re-read my journals during this trying time, God proved himself over and over in my life. Simply put, He carried me.

On May 2, 2009, God and I received our diploma. It was a triumphant moment because we reached the goal that He set for me five long years ago. Now it was time to find a job. St. Mary’s has a seminar for teachers to help them in their job search. There were several superintendents from various schools and they told us point blank, “Elementary teachers are a dime a dozen and there just are not openings. Because of the large candidate pool, if there are openings, the schools can pick the cream of the crop so you better be able to stand out.” Driving home, I had a choice. I could believe Jeremiah 29 or I could get discouraged. I chose God. I knew He would provide. After praying and waiting a couple of months, I was offered a job.

Last year brought blessings beyond measure and more joy than I ever thought possible. Bailey and I have adjusted to our new life. She’s been able to witness blessing after blessing as God provides for us. We have felt peace in our home that wasn’t always there. I enjoyed teaching more than I could imagine. The best part of my teaching experience was sharing God with my kids. My kids knew how important God was in my life and they knew I prayed for them daily. The schools offer a moment of silence before the pledge. My students honored this moment because I made it clear that I was using my moment to pray for them. When they shared issues in their life, they would ask me to pray. They would bring their Bibles to read during silent reading. They would read their Bibles at night for their reading assignment. When they would write about their reading, I would respond with encouragement and share my thoughts on the scriptures they were reading. God was invited into my classroom and He was there every day.

As we know, Satan is always waiting to attack. The ‘severe recession’ has affected all of us. Education was impacted greatly when the governor cut funding to the schools. I received my Reduction in Force (RIF) letter in March. I was at another crossroad: would I step out in faith and believe that God would provide or would I succumb to the fear, discouragement, and frustration that grips those affected by the economic situation? I went home and read my journals again. God had brought me through so many trials, why wouldn’t I trust him yet again? Would I hold onto His promise in Jeremiah 29? I chose God. This allowed me the most teachable God moment that I was able to share with my own children, my students, and my peers. I trusted that God would provide and all I wanted to do was shine for Him through this trial. Job or no job, I would shine for Him. I chose to tell my students so they would hear the news from me. We all cried on the day that I told them. They were so sweet as they asked what they could do. They were plotting letter campaigns and phone calls to save my job. As we gathered around, I asked them to do one thing and only one thing for me. I asked them to pray. We talked about how God was in control and they knew my beliefs on prayer.

For the next couple of months, we went on with business as usual. I loved teaching even more and just knew that God would provide. In the middle of May, I received a phone call from our superintendent. She had a kindergarten position available for me. I was ecstatic! I just love when God brings those blessings to us that cause us to drop to our knees. I can picture Him smiling down upon us as we cry for joy. I couldn’t wait for Monday so I could tell my kids. On Monday morning I reminded them of my request for prayer. Some of them shared that they were still praying and several had parents praying as well. I was thrilled to give God the glory that He was due for our answered prayers. It was a wonderful God moment and one I will not forget. I only hope that all of my kids will remember it as well. I want them to know that they have a Father in Heaven that loves them and looks to answer their prayers always.

Pastor Dave teaches that God will lead our paths if we let Him. He will direct our path step by step and we just need to take each step in faith. He doesn’t show us the entire journey since most of us would turn and high tail it the other way. I know if I had seen the 5 year college journey when I left my job, I would not have taken the first step. I would have thought about the cost of college and decided to stay at my job and take one class at a time so they would pay the tuition. I would never have had the courage to quit and start college as an act of faith. By taking one step at a time, I have seen my journey filled with blessings beyond measure. I could never in my wildest dreams believe that life could be wonderful, fun, and surpass even my crazy imagination. God just required me to take that one step so my journey could begin….I’m sure He is doing the same with you.

Will you step out in faith?